Five Birthday Wishes for YOU!

Okay, this photo is from Lulu's birthday - not mine - I don't think I have photos of recent birthday parties.. I'll have to fix that!
Okay, this photo is from Lulu's birthday - not mine - I don't think I have photos of recent birthday parties.. I'll have to fix that!

On Saturday, I will mark another year of adventure on this planet.  And from the pages of my “I wish I would’ve known then what I know now,” book,  I am going to blow out the candles on my cake making wishes – not for me – but for you!

These wishes express my current attitude toward life.  They are not traits I was born with. They are some of the approaches to life I have chosen to develop over the years.

Life is full of choices.  How you act and react in your professional and personal life is truly up to you.

I share my wishes now. I wish for you to:

1. Be curious. Don’t breeze through your day narrowly focused on only the tasks at hand.  Take a moment to explore and wonder about other people and places and current events. This is not the simple “be informed” approach, it’s a way to make yourself probe further. It’s training yourself to ask the why about things. Nurturing curiosity is a great way to engage. In your community. In your profession. In your friendships.  And that brings me to number two.

 2. Ask follow-up questions.   How often during a conversation, are we waiting for the other person to stop talking so we can offer the “Yeah, that same thing happened to me only better” story?  Instead of responding to a potential client’s or customer’s story with your own, ask a follow-up question.   “What happened next?”  “How did that make you feel?”  “What is going to be done?” I learned this during my interview days as a correspondent for CNN, but it also has so many practical applications.  Asking a follow-up question not only can provide you with helpful  and interesting information, it also tells the person you really care to hear more from them.  People like to talk about their experiences. Listen to them.

3. Be kind, first. Don’t wait for the other person to make the first move. Offer a “good morning” to a stranger tomorrow as you walk to your office.  Ask the barista how her day is going, and mean it.  Take two minutes to chat with your client or prospect about the weather or their family or their health.  Many people  I find that most, not all, people will respond to kindness – in kind.

 4. Deploy the power of the smile. Connected to number three is this wish:  A lot.  Even if you’re upset, nervous or angry. Your brain is wired to be constantly scanning for your smile muscles to engage. Research shows that even if you fake a broad smile, your endorphins will kick in and you’ll feel better.  I love this one.

 5. Be bold. Sometimes if you think too much, you’ll psych yourself right out of an opportunity.  Submit a “Call to Papers” blindly for a conference you found on Google.  Call the publisher of a newspaper whom you have never met and ask for a seat on that VIP rodeo train trip. Each of these I have done. (That executive I reached out to on-line is now a client.  I will be speaking in June at the 16th International Conference on Human Resources. And the publisher who just happened to pick up the phone at 4pm on a Friday because his secretary was gone for the day - was so blown away that I called him directly – he put me right on that trip and I made many wonderful connections that day.)

A friend told me today, “only fools follow rules.” So, while you may feel foolish about daring to toss a tweet to someone you wish to engage, Give it a go. Be respectful but get creative.  It won’t always work, but it certainly won’t if you don’t try.  And just think how foolish you’ll feel  wondering what might have been.

These may not be the secrets to the universe, but  I sincerely wish you for to experience first-hand  the little life-changers behind these wishes. Speaking of secrets, I also hope that the notion that of, “if you tell someone your wish, it won’t come true,” is just a myth!

So, catch these wishes, take hold and turn them into action and a lifestyle. Let me know which ones resonate with you and what others you have adapted into your own lives.

Happy birthday to me - and you!
Happy birthday to me - and you!

Every day is a chance for a fresh start. Happy birthday!

Copyright 2015 Gina London.  All Rights Reserved.


Writing to Engage – Some Simple Strategies!

When I interviewed master crime-writer Elmore Leonard years ago, he gave this advice to would-be writers, "If you want to write well, write a lot. Something might even work out."

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Okay, practice makes perfect, maybe.   And while you're out there practicing, it's nice to have some  general guidelines to help speed up the process.

So, as a former print journalist and veteran CNN correspondent who has written thousands of stories, here are some of the strategies I share with my executive clients - many of whom are working to enhance their professional profiles by creating a body of written work for on-line and mainstream publications.

  1. HEADLINES - Make your headline as compelling as you can!

Think short and catchy.  You may write one headline at the beginning of your article and then find you can re-write it more simply and “grabby” after you are finished – like a quick wrap-up.  In journalism, for example, editors, not reporters, write an article’s headlines. It’s a distinct skill.

a. Pique your readers’ curiosity–Writing a headline that makes readers curious to learn more and turn to you for answers or insight is a great way to build an audience.

b. Link your cause to a celebrity or a news item- Obviously, you don’t have to always link your relevance to someone who is more famous than you (as I shamelessly did by putting Kim Kardashian in my headline about headline writing). In one week alone I saw more than a dozen writers referencing Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s choice to wear the same clothes every day as a launching point for their own observations.  In campaigning, we call this finding a solid “third party advocate” – someone who supports your message and is highly visible.  In the same vein, linking your point to a current hot news event or topic is common sense – but too often a missed opportunity.

c. Be emotional and/or fun – Most of us will welcome a quick read if it appeals to us emotionally. Research shows people make decisions first from their subconscious, which is where emotion resides, and then back that up with their conscious mind with rational logic and reasoning.

 2. LEAD (or LEDE) PARAGRAPH – You grabbed them with your headline now really grab them in your lead. You’ll want to spend as much time on formulating your opening paragraph as you do your headline.  There is no single right way to do this. Here are a few ideas:

a. Teaser - This can be as simple as a quick “teaser” introduction, in which you essentially tell your reader here’s what you’re going to get and why it’s important in a couple of sentences – and then the rest of your article fills in the details.

b. Provocative question - Or you can lead with a provocative question that asks your reader to imagine a scenario or something that makes them sit up and want to read more.

c. Startling fact – Hit your readers with the gotcha fact – like how the UK is surprisingly  lagging behind other counties in digital training – or what the shocking future statistics for digital security risk may be if processes aren’t changed. Then fill in with the “what can we do about it.”

 3. PERSONAL ANECDOTE or STORY

You should already understand the idea of adding in a personal story.  Try to make your descriptions as vivid as possible. The key to any story, however, is to relate it back to the point you are making so there’s an applicable take-away for your reader.  Don’t make your reader infer.  Spell it out for them.

  1. NUMBERED LlSTS

If you have three main points, don’t just state them in your narrative. Make them stand out by creating a bulleted list.  This helps your reader find their take-aways easily. You can then even put that back into your headline. “My top three tips for X” ….

  1. LESS IS MORE

Just as with an oral presentation, most essays or articles are best written if they don’t get put the audience to sleep with too much information. If your essay is very  dense, consider breaking it up into two or even three entries.  Imagine you are writing a book, and think about where your chapters would come. One main point per chapter works best.  Tease your audience in a final graph that you are going to write more  - keep them interested.

  1. SIMPLIFY

Are there implications or lessons to be learned from your article that will appeal to more than your immediate professional colleagues? If you want to broaden your audience, steer clear from using too much industry jargon.  Imagine you are writing to a family friend or a dear aunt. Make it interesting for them and it can still have the same appeal for your intended audience.

  1. CREATE A SENSE of URGENCY

Is there reason why someone should pay attention to your article?  What might happen if someone does not follow or consider your point?  What will happen if the status quo continues in a particular line of business? This does not mean a false sense of urgency, but if there is a poignant reason for your audience to pay attention, tell them!

  1. CHUNK WRITING

I don’t always write “linearly” – if I know I want to include a particular point in the middle of my story, I may craft that paragraph as a stand-alone right away and come back to it later.  Or while I’m thinking of a topic, I may think of a perfect “wrap” or “go-home” line and write it down before I forget and before I write anything else.  I may think of a compelling lede line only after I have written everything else.  Imagine the paragraphs of your essay as shells in the “shell game.” When you re-read your finished product, you might move one graph above another if they seem to support each other in a better order.  Play with your structure. It’s your creation. You are an artist creating for an audience.

 Copyright 2015 Gina London. All Rights Reserved. 


Happy Easter – and There are no small parts…

I have a confession:  When my seven-year-old told me she had been given the non-speaking bit role of “Forest Dancer” in her school’s Easter festival play, my first inclination was to angrily protest.

Rockboro Primary  Easter Festival Play. School, Cork, Ireland.
Rockboro Primary Easter Festival Play. School, Cork, Ireland.

(Note! This is NOT merely the musings of a mother on her young daughter’s first school play, there is also a lovely lesson for business and life here, I promise.)

I imagined walking up to her first-grade teacher saying something like:  “What?! MY daughter deserves MORE than a puny role as ‘tree fairy who protects the princess’ which was clearly made up just to give every kid a part. Lulu should have been the princess herself, or at least a character with one line of dialogue! How dare you!”

Of course, I said nothing to the teacher. To my daughter, I smiled down said something supportive about how she was sure to be a great “Forest Dancer.” Still, inwardly, I worried about her sure-to-be-damaged tender self-esteem.

But, my daughter wasn’t upset about her small role at all.   She was actually excited about being a “Forest Dancer.”

“I am creating my own dance moves to guard the princess,” she happily told me one evening.

She applied twirls and flourishes she had learned in her after-school ballet lessons. Then she studied her face in the mirror and announced she would like to wear her hair swept into an up-do complete with a ring of flowers.  We shopped for an appropriate “tree dancer” outfit and came up with a leafy dress the teachers liked so much they urged Lulu’s “tree dancer” partner to buy a matching outfit just like it.

When the day of the Easter festival arrived, amid tables of hot cross buns, pastel-colored cupcakes and walls plastered with hundreds of pictures of bunnies and chicks, my little daughter proudly took to the stage.

Her little ballet moves were adorable and for a moment I thought of the background dancer in a recent production of The Nutcracker who hilariously upstaged the featured performers.

Lulu, aka, "Forest Dancer," guarding the princess.
Lulu, aka, "Forest Dancer," guarding the princess.

Lulu didn’t go that far.  She simply brought to the performance all that she could.  She wasn’t envious of the girl who did play the role of the princess. She had a great attitude. She was encouraging and encouraged in return.

I was the one who needed to have my attitude checked.  When we’re offered something we may consider “beneath” us, how do we react? With frustration? Anger? Are we indignant or are we gracious?

The way Lulu handled herself, reminded me of the Stanislavski quote that:

 There are no small parts, only small actors.

So, no matter whether in an Easter festival play or in business or in life, remember all the world’s a stage. Give every role your best.

Fun and friends after the play!
Fun and friends after the play!

And Happy Easter!

Copyright 2015 Gina London. All Rights Reserved.

 


The Optimism of Daffodils

As it is Daffodil Day here in Ireland, a day to donate, volunteer and wear a daffodil in support of finding a cure for cancer, I am reminding us all of the grand optimism that resides in these buttery bright flowers! 

Amid lingering piles of snow, battering gusts of wind or, like here in Ireland, drenching torrents of rain, it may not yet feel like spring is at hand.  But some diligent stalwarts are already foretelling the new season’s arrival.

Like many of us, they have spent the winter  in dark solitude.  Unseen, they may have been largely forgotten. But they did not need to be recognized or rewarded or encouraged.  They are self-motivators, working steadily throughout the cold months driven by determination.

And now in our parks and along the green, grassy medians of our roadways, the rewarding results of their tireless  labors are emerging.

An old man in worn and shabby clothing meanders among the rows of bright yellow and looks out upon them.  An overly critical eye might predispose one to assume he should be given a wide berth; he is very likely a person not worth engaging.  But one would be wrong indeed.

This unassuming gentleman spoke and perfectly summed up the sentiment that rings through these dependable heralds with faces stretching upward toward an inconsistent sun:

Ah, the optimism of daffodils.”

daffodil-19361-1680x1050

How many times are we burdened by work or family or life and forget that a little dogged determination, or focused optimism - viewed as an action-word - not a simple state of being or emotion - will get us through?

Take a tip from the daffodils. The sun will come out again. Maybe not tomorrow. But it will.

Copyright 2015 Gina London. All Rights Reserved.


What ONE song makes ALL the difference for YOU?

What do YOU do when a project’s deadline is looming and you feel overwhelmed?  When your desk has become a mountain of paper and you want to bury your head in it? When you come back from a meeting in which the boss did NOT have kind words to say?  You know that feeling… when you want to crawl in a hole and not come out – for days.

One sure-fire solution is: to PRESS PLAY!

music_beauty-1419448

The right music really can transform your mind from feeling like giving up to getting up and getting going!

A pivotal study from McGill University demonstrated that your body increases dopamine levels when you listen to music you enjoy! That’s the same chemical associated with being in love and eating sweets.  Music brings the same joy without any chance of heartbreak or tooth-decay!

His mommy gave him music, not sugary junk food to lift his spirits!
His mommy gave him music, not sugary junk food, to lift his spirits!

Since we’re all motivated by our emotions, why not reprogram your I-pod or whatever-your-musical-appliance-of-choice is to include a list of POWER-UP tunes? Download a set of music designed to get you back in the ring and fighting again.

You take your car in to the shop whenever it needs a tune-up or re-alignment, right? So, music can be a way to realign your emotions when you need a little emotional pick-me-up.

Here’s my TOP FIVE list of “Get-Back-At-It-Songs”:

5. “I Won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty His unique scratchy voice and darling plaintive face make just the perfect combination for me. “You can stand me up at the gates of Hell, but I won’t back down.” How’s that for a can-do attitude! Thanks, Tom.

4. “Roar” by Katie Perry – Sugar pop or not, this song is lots of fun. We got the cd for our seven-year-old daughter for Christmas and she and I sing the anthem together LOUDLY in the car on the way to school.  Who can’t feel better after yelling out “You’re gonna hear me ROAR!” ?!   

3. “You Gotta Be” by Des’ree – This song, to me, is true inspiration. Like the words say, “You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together. …” The singer is one beautiful and strong looking woman.  She knows life is going to have its ups and downs, but her encouraging theme of hanging in there always works for me. “You go, girl!” she seems to say.

2. “Hit the Road Jack” by Ray Charles – Ray Charles could’ve sung the dictionary and I would’ve listened. His recording of this, to me, is one of his best. It’s got a rhythm and style that never fail to lift my spirits out of the doldrums. “What you say?!”  

1. "Tubthumping (I get knocked down)" by Chumbawamba – Okay, there’s a strong ‘cure-your-blues-thru-alcohol’ theme here that I can’t fully endorse, but its gleeful chorus: “I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down” is so high-charged and upbeat that I simply CANNOT help feeling better after listening. And it’s brought to you by a group named “Chumbawamba” of all names. That sure says “don’t take life so seriously” to me.  Love it.

So there you have my list.  What’s yours?  What song makes all the difference for you?  I hope you have one – or two – or five.  Get listening and get going!

Lulu and friends joyfully dance the night away.
Lulu and friends joyfully dance the night away.

 Copyright 2015 Gina London. All Rights Reserved.


Proof you CAN reinvent yourself on a trip to Ireland’s famous Cliffs of Moher

One of the most breathtaking experiences in Ireland occurs when you stand upon the Cliffs of Moher looking out over the Atlantic while the 702 foot (214 m) stone walls are rhythmically and dramatically battered by waves and wind.

cliffs ws
The Cliffs of Moher the day we visited them

Powerful and moving as it is, as I recently trekked them with my seven-year-old daughter, the cliffs would have been mere rocks if not for the rockin’ tour provided by our local Paddywagon guide, Michael.

Michael and another happy Paddywagon guest
Michael and another happy Paddywagon guest

Paddywagon runs a fleet of tour buses –departing daily from towns around Ireland like Dublin and our home here in Cork. I had been meaning to book an excursion for months but was afraid it might be a boring waste of money. Drive you to the sights with a few monotonous “on your left blah-blahs”along the way and that’s it. But no! Our driver Michael was an absolute raconteur. He regaled us with colorful tales of Irish history, sprinkled with juicy gossip, charming jokes and kindly folksiness throughout. He even sang us a few ditties that were high in personality even if they were a bit low on songmanship!

We, along with everyone else on the bus, were absolutely enchanted.

We had a terrific time, thank you, Michael!
We had a terrific time, thank you, Michael!

At the end of the day, before stepping down from the bus, I had to learn a bit more about Michael. We chatted and he told me he’s from Tipperary and worked as a professional engineer for years before he was suddenly laid off during Ireland’s (and many other countries’ ) recession in 2010. Michael described his life afterward:

I tried everything and then a friend encouraged me to get my bus drivers permit and I never looked back,

I logged onto Trip Advisor after we got home to tell everyone about Michael. What I found was that “Bus driver Michael” was already a Paddywagon celebrity. My review joined dozens of previous brightly glowing posts about him. While Michael may no longer be building roads and bridges, now, as he drives over them and tells his stories and sings his funny songs, he is building different kinds of bridges – those of warm memories and experiences - for tourists from all over the world.

Life is not about discovering yourself, it’s about creating yourself.

Coco Chanel once said that and I think life is a combination of the both. As you go through your life and your career, things will happen that you’re not prepared for; maybe you are unexpectedly laid off or fired.

And as you force yourself to update your CV and get back into the job market:

  1. You will discover you have a fortitude and determination you didn’t think was in you.
  2. Your discovery will give you the extra-strength and confidence to adapt and reinvent yourself in ways you may not have imagined.
  3. Stretch yourself. Maybe you won’t be in the same field as you were in before, but:
  4. You can create yourself anew.
  5. You CAN do it.

You are ready for the next chapter of your life. Life is certainly a journey, and if your journey takes you to Cork, Ireland – do yourself a favor and take a Paddywagon Tour.

lulu running

Ask for Michael, the engineer-turned-singing-tour-guide. Tell him Gina sent you. You’ll be glad you did.

Copyright 2015 Gina London. All Rights Reserved.


Three thoughts on distractions to help us better focus!

This is the track I am speaking of - but today it was not nearly as sunny! ;)
This is Cork Ireland's Mardyke Arena track I am speaking of - but today it was not nearly as sunny! ;)

Two women were on the outdoor track this morning.  One, wearing a knit cap for extra warmth, had her head slightly lowered and was jogging at a steady pace.  The other in a yellow wind-breaker and no hat, was briskly walking with her head held up, and carried a paper COFFEE CUP in her right hand.

jog

I immediately wondered at the second woman’s choice to walk on the track – while also sipping a coffee. How much was she focusing on her decision to exercise?  And really, how effective did she expect to be at the task at hand?

Of course you could argue it was better than nothing.  At least she wasn’t sitting in front of the TV sipping her coffee.

But she could’ve easily done even better.  That’s the problem with any distraction, isn’t it?  When we don’t focus our attention solely on the effort  before us, we will likely not be as successful at it.

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  1.  As the number of attention-demanding tasks we attempt to do at the same time go up, the effectiveness of our brain to manage them goes down.

Many of us, myself included, may have considered ourselves good “multi-taskers.”  We seldom complete one task before moving on to the next one on our list. Instead, our workspace is littered with a variety of “ongoing” projects that get pushed aside as we take a ‘quick’ call,  check our email in-box, Instagram, Facebook or whatever.  Some projects may be better if you step away and take a break before reviewing, etc. But others need continued attention and focus in order to be completed in a timely manner.

We have limited brain capacity to focus.  Think about that the next time you’re working on a project or the next time you phone and drive. Even hands free.  In spite of what you may think, studies show they’re no safer than hand-held. We’re still distracted.

  1. Consider making to do lists in order of “attention-demanding” priority. Allot specific times to specific tasks.

When preparing for a presentation, for example, if you carve out an hour for research, commit to making the full hour only about research.  If you let distractions creep in, the hour will still pass by, but your research results won’t reflect it.

  1. Get rid of distractions when meeting with colleagues, friends, and loved ones.

I sat recently in a café and watched a couple sitting together at a table.  Although they were side by side, they spoke not a word, but kept their faces buried in their phones.  How many times have you met with a colleague who sits behind his or her desk and continues to check their computer?  How about meetings or presentations where laptops and tablets are clearly in play.  Putting aside such things for others shows respect and recognizes the value of everyone’s time.

It takes discipline to be methodological but time that is not managed, is often time that is wasted.

The one thing that money cannot buy is effective use of time.  Get rid of distractions and make every second count.

So the next time you’re on the race track, put down that coffee cup and get going!

Copyright 2015 Gina London. All Rights Reserved. 

 

 

 

 


Happy New Year - and Happy Women's Christmas Tonight!

Happy New Year! But wait, there’s one more Christmas celebration tonight:  Here in Ireland it’s “Nollaig na mBan” or “Women’s Christmas!”

Happy Women's Christmas!
Happy Women's Christmas!

As the Ireland Fun Facts website explains it’s a time for tired Irish women, who cooked and washed dishes all alone for their large families during the holidays, to finally get a break -  for one day at least.

It's a time for women to finally get a break

Yes, this one’s just for the ladies, gents. It’s one of the lovely traditions I will be experiencing for the first time since we moved here to Ireland.  A night for the women to celebrate surviving another holiday break with the children, the husband and their extended family all at home. Together. For several days. In a row.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the holidays.  I start cranking up Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” immediately while I clear the Thanksgiving plates.  And this year was no different.

During the holidays. I cooked. A lot. Family cookie favourites. Ham with maple bourbon sauce. Mountains of mashed potatoes and now that I have discovered the glories of goose fat, truck- loads of roast potatoes too. (We’re in Ireland after all.) Mince pies with brandy butter.  Boiled puddings with brandy sauce.  Just plain brandy sauce and feck it, just plain brandy!  Needless to say that with all that cooking comes all that eating.  Too much.  I loved the holidays with gusto and now I’m glad to add them to my ever-growing memory box.

Not our house after Christmas - but you get the idea
Not our house after Christmas - but you get the idea

So! Here we are in the first week back at it.

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Did you skip while you took your children back to school yesterday?  Did you attack your first gym/pool/pilates/yoga class of the new year with a vengeance? Have you already vacuumed up the last of the dead pine needles and packed the stockings/baubles/Christmas village buildings and figurines tidily away? Did you possibly even kiss your desk and/or co-workers back at the office?

I did. Except for the desk and co-worker part.  I am simply delighted to be facing a fresh new year square in its little hopeful pink face.  A new year with new possibilities.  I, like you, have plenty of work goals.  I want to consult on more projects in more countries with more clients.  I am excited about new prospects and opportunities.

But first, tonight, one more fest.  I’ll be meeting some girl friends here in Cork at a restaurant downtown.  It’s a French place I haven’t tried yet called Star Anise.  That likely means small delicate portions. That’s a good thing. It’s a new year after all.

Cheers and here’s to a productive, but still festive, new year!

Love,

Gina

Copyright 2015 Gina London.  All Rights Reserved. 


How Persistent Are You? Three lessons from an immigrant.

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How are you wrapping up the year?  Buried under a mountain of Q4 spreadsheets?  Take a quick trip to Ireland with me and get a few handy managing tips on the way!

My husband and I are in line at Immigration.  In front of us is a girl from New Zealand who has been accepted to medical school here in Cork, Ireland.   Behind us is a man from India who works for the Apple offices just outside of town.

It’s a little after 1PM, and although the windows won’t re-open until 2PM, there is already a long queue.   My line-mates and I are near the front of the line. We were prepared and got here early.  We know the drill because each of us have stood in this line before.

We’re  in Ireland because my husband is enrolled in a PhD program at University College Cork.   To be legal, we must file the proper paperwork with Immigration at the Garda (police) station.   Each previous occasion, the Immigration Officer has politely but pointedly turned us away.  This is our third time in the line.

The first time we didn’t show proper proof of financial independence.  We had brought our American bank account statement thinking it would suffice.  But the officer informed us the money needs to be deposited in an Irish account instead.

Like having money in a national bank, many of the hurdles put before us make sense logically, but strain us emotionally as we must reprioritized other obligations and spend the inordinate amount of time needed to clear them. Throughout this process, I am reminded of three important lessons in persistence.

  1. Keep Your Cool. It took us one full week and more than a handful of daily phone calls to assorted customer service representatives to find a way to transfer the large amount required from Bank of America to the Bank of Ireland without incurring outrageous transfer fees.  Each rep seemed to have his or her own set of knowledge about what options, or lack thereof, were at our disposal.  At one point, a representative told me it would be impossible to transfer our own money from our account without being in the US to do so.  It was also maddening to be forced through seemingly endless automated phone-tree systems “press option 406 for international banking services…” while watching the sands of your Irish cell phone’s minutes go ticking away.  Yes, I confess,  I lost my temper at more than one point.  Thankfully my husband pointed out we could buy credit on Skype and make the calls for a fraction of the cost.  Ultimately, with 40-minutes of help from a tech bank representative and my husband’s best friend who lives in Portland, we secured the transfer.
  1. Never Assume. The second time we stood in the line, armed with our now fattened Bank of Ireland statement, we thought we were ready. However, we had apparently filled-out a wrong form (they wouldn’t give us the proper one there. We had to get it directly from the university).  Our still very polite Immigration Officer also did not think our health insurance qualified.  Yikes! We assumed the girl at the university’s graduate counter had handed over the proper forms.  And we just assumed our chosen insurance-provider would be qualified. But we hadn’t asked direct questions needed to get reassurance. We had  And, no, I’m not going to tell you what happens when you do that. ;) 
  1. Have A Trusted Partner.  Depending on your situation, these hurdles may not seem too overwhelming to you, but there were many times I felt like tossing up my hands and giving up.  We’ll just be undocumented!  No problem!  Fortunately, when I got fed-up making calls, my husband stepped in. When he didn’t feel like dealing with the Irish health insurance company, I did it.  Turns out they did qualify. Encouraging each other made a lot of the difference in completing what then seemed like an insurmountable mountain of paperwork.

So, there you have it! A few quick reminders and tips to help you keep on hanging on and hanging in with that BIG project you have looming before you!

With our daughter Lulu this weekend at her first birthday party in Ireland -  after we managed successfully through immigration! Look at our smiles! :)
With our daughter Lulu this weekend at her first birthday party in Ireland - after we managed successfully through immigration! Look at our smiles! :)

As for us, the third time was a charm.  We stepped up to the window and were met by that same polite officer.  She approved our documents, typed in our information and snapped our photos.  We can pick up our official legal Irish immigrant cards next week.   Of course, it means we’ll have to stand in line again.

But that’s okay!

Copyright 2014 Gina London.  All Rights Reserved.


Nigeria Diary: The questions I am getting

Besides the ubiquitous, “How do you find your time here in Nigeria?” which I answer at least half a dozen times each day, some probing souls are asking me more pointed questions.

Questions like, “How can you relate to us as a white?”

I believe there are always ways to find common ground.
I believe there are always ways to find common ground.

“Don’t you think policies in the West will not work here?”

Sharing ideas and experiences .. can be fun!
Sharing ideas and experiences .. can be fun!

As someone who has worked and trained –and even lived – in a variety of places like Indonesia, Cambodia, Tunisia and Egypt, I welcome each and every question from each and every person.   I am never offended when someone is straightforward and honest.  It’s through the questions, that I can learn more about the person and find ways to overcome his or her concerns.

So, for the record, here are some of the questions and my answers I am receiving here in Nigeria.

  1. How can you relate to us as a white?   It’s more than obvious that my skin color is lighter than most everyone I meet here in Lagos. For example, I sat in service yesterday at a parish of Africa’s fastest growing church, The Redeemed Christian Church of Christ.  Did I say “sat?!

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I meant to say, I "stood, danced, sang and shimmied" for four hours! The meeting was a party. An encouraging celebration of each other and God.  I loved all of it.  And yes, I was the only pinky-skinned lady in the hall.  After the service, a young man interviewed me for his blog – asking how I got started with my career.  I offered some relationship and networking strategies – telling him to make sure to keep in close contact with his favorite professors after he graduates. He hadn’t thought of them as possible relationships, only teachers.  We connected on that point.  He is young. I am not as young. He is male. I am not. Yes, he has dark skin. I do not.  Years ago, when I trained an incredible group of Iraqi women running for office, their country was (as is still now) in the midst of chaos and fear.  I couldn’t relate on that level, but I could understand their desires to balance family and career.  We were able to find common ground.  And that’s the trick. Searching for those common hopes, dreams and fears that link us all together as human beings on the planet, regardless of our different cultures, traditions, backgrounds and even skin tones.

2. Don’t you think policies in the West won’t work here in Africa?  Let’s break that down.  Which policies? The policy of being thoughtful to your customers, employees or citizens?  To considering and providing for their well-being?  To holding peaceful, free and fair elections if you call yourself a democracy? Injustices happen everywhere, not just in Africa, and the only way to affect change, is to constantly and consistently expose and push against those injustices.  Observers sometimes complain there is not enough investigative journalism here.  But as I work with journalists and civil rights organizations in places where there is less than free expression due to a variety of real or perceived dire consequences, I am often impressed there is any level of investigative journalism. I try to encourage the increase, not carp about the short-comings.

3. Can you really teach journalists, you seem very motivational?  This was probably my most surprising question, as it didn’t come from a Nigerian at all, but rather from an American who seemed more than skeptical; she seemed down right cynical.  Whew!

Journalism training session
Journalism training session

Of course I try to be motivational. Encouraging.  Supportive. Inspirational.  Call it what you what.  To me,  it’s part of what you do as a trainer, as a coach.  First, you must try to establish a connection or a relationship.  I would NEVER come into a newsroom or any training room for that matter, and immediately launch into how to write better, or how to manage better, or how to stay on message better. What’s the incentive to change, aka work harder, from that approach?

Having once been a working journalist myself, I know that most journalists everywhere are not paid well.  We likely got into the field because we liked telling stories.  Stories that might make a difference.   The way I try to connect with journalists is to re-ignite that flame still burning inside them.  To inspire them that their writing - if credible and accurate – might make those differences over time.

I have read in diplomacy circles that relationships are, for some reason, labeled with the jargony impersonal word, “architecture.”  As in, “how strong is your architecture with journalists??”  Whatever the word, the point remains the same.  If you don’t first connect with your audience on some level, they are never going to care about what you say.  It’s basic 101 in presentation training lessons for anyone, regardless of your audience’s ethnicity or country-origin.

 First you connect. Then you can teach, or inform or persuade.  It seems obvious and yet it is too seldom done. Perhaps the obstacles seem too high.  But if we spend time building the architecture, the relationship bridges, to get over them,  I think the outcomes will be worth the effort.

Joseph, just one of the inspiring people I met at church on Sunday who asked me some thought provoking questions.
Joseph, just one of the inspiring people I met at church on Sunday who asked me some thought provoking questions.

Yours from Lagos,

Gina

 

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